I haven't seen you in forever, since like 2008 - 2009.
I miss you!
I actually realized that I love you and I need you in my life.
I miss the carefree feeling of you.
I miss how calm you are and how you kept me from going crazy.
You were silent but very loud and aggressively clear with your presence.
Undoubtably, I recognize you any where;
at the nail salon for about an hour,
listening to my favorite song on the radio while I drive down the street with my sunroof open,
and when I look at my daughter, I see you the purest!
I chased you for years, jealous and depressed because you seem to see everyone but me.
You were always close by so, I settled.
I was satisfied with being close until that fateful day.
Remember, I saw you in the streets during Black Lives Matter protests in the DMV area.
I was in the right place at the right time.
I walked right up beside you and held your hand.
It felt like a flame was lit and I was taking a breath of fresh air.
Which is funny now, because I didn't even realize how polluted my air was.
When I cleaned my glasses and saw everything for the first time through these dreaming eyes of mine, I held on to your hand so tight, that even when I stumbled I could never let it go.
I always knew that I deserved you, happiness, but I was always so scared to fully trust the process of what needed to be done to obtain you.
I looked for you in the form of every thing else but I never trusted within me.
I was holding my own self back this entire time. I realized, all I had to do was just look at you.
I realized that once I looked at you I would see me!
And once I really saw me and not all the things that have happened to me, I became more focused, committed and driven.
Lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep so why is my head hung low?!
You made me capable, so all I needed to do was get to it.
I had to keep my eyes on you and remember that without a process there cannot be progress!
Now, I am ducking and weaving and I am still looking dead at you!
I knew it was more to life than this.
A Woman In Happiness
Like Nispey Hussle said "find your purpose or your waisting air"
I found MINE!!!!